Yesterday we had lunch at the Ashmolean terrace restaurant with David Attenborough*. I can report that they did have the Wild Mushroom Risotto, and delicious it was too – as well it ought to be for the prices they charge.

*Sir David kindly sat at the opposite end of the restaurant to us, to protect our anonymity.

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No, Sir, I regret to say we do not have the wild mushroom risotto today, Sir.